Fiercely, You!

Ep.10| Fear of looking like a beginner — Why starting messy creates conviction, confidence & legacy

• Jamie Bareno • Season 1 • Episode 10

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I explore why fear of looking like a beginner paralyzes so many brilliant people and how starting messy actually creates conviction, confidence, and legacy.

This fear keeps us hiding, editing, and procrastinating instead of sharing our unique gifts.

Post the thing. Record the reel. Launch the offer. Don’t wait another day.

Journal prompts:

  • Where am I hiding because I’m afraid to look like a beginner?
  • What story am I telling myself about imperfection?
  • What bold action can I take this week to show up exactly as I am?


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Jamie Bareno:

Hola Divas. Welcome to the Fiercely you Podcast. I'm Jamie Barino, former corporate banker turned spiritual biz inner work coach and the visionary behind the Spiritual Divas Society and Luxara High-End Mentorship. Every week, I share raw stories, real lessons and the mindset shifts that took me from burnout and breakdowns to leading high-end movements, coaching and mentoring powerful women in their personal and business developments and guiding them to turn their ideas into intellectual property. If you're ready to own your brilliance, lead like a diva and turn your life and business into your greatest masterpiece, you're in the right place. Subscribe now. Turn on notifications because the time is now to lead fierce movements, enter your soft life era and attract magical clients who are ready to work with you.

Jamie Bareno:

Let's dive in to today's episode Fear of looking like a beginner and why starting messy creates conviction, confidence and legacy. Welcome back, my loves. I am so excited to be here with you all. This topic hits home because I still think I'm a beginner. I still think that and I guess it comes with experience. Every day that you go through life, you know you get to know yourself a little bit more and when you decide that you just want to continue doing your sole purpose, it feels messy, it feels like you don't know what you're doing and it gets just pure chaotic. And that's why I chose this episode for number 10 to ease any anxiety that is coming up that makes you feel paralyzed, actually. Therefore, I want to ask you how long have you been hiding because you're so afraid to look like a beginner? Let's open up a dialogue, and I know that this is for a lot of humans, a lot of coaches, a lot of mentors Really hit home that you go through this phase of, oh my god, let me rewrite the caption, let me rewrite and over edit this reel.

Jamie Bareno:

And then your mind begins to spiral. And then you go through all of these phases and then you begin to self-sabotage and then you're like oh no, I'm not ready. What about if I make this logo a little bit more perfect and this font and then this color? And then you're like should I post this? No, maybe tomorrow. And then you procrastinate and then you never end up posting what you were supposed to post.

Jamie Bareno:

I know I've been there, and I've been there multiple, multiple times in my life, and I know that it's also something that is projection that we put on ourselves. And here's the fierce truth You're not protecting your reputation in order for you to look good and look aesthetically pleasing. You're protecting your fear and it comes back to that that you are really not embracing that zone of genius, that you have that core element of your sole purpose just because you're so fearful, and that's okay. Now is the moment to move forward and whatever's happening, it's okay. I give you the permission slip to look like a beginner Pose, that whatever feels not so awesome, because at the end of the day, when you are moving and you are leaving your comfort zone, that's when the magic happens. Feeling good about posting every single day that might not feel good for everybody, but once you pass that fear, it really becomes cool because you begin to see the followers, you begin to see the engagement.

Jamie Bareno:

You're talking about your services. You're talking about the transformation that your products and your services and your complete life has experienced, because all of these are transformations that we go through right and with these elements, you are expanding and you are creating the possibilities for other coaches and mentors to see what is possible. And this is when you really set the tone for yourself and with all of this, the funds begin to roll in. And then it gets like okay, I'm posting, I'm committing to myself, I'm committing to either starting a podcast or placing those YouTube videos that you said you were going to do 10 years ago, five years ago, last year. Whatever you postponed and you procrastinated, and you start seeing all of these magical things happening. You become very fierce in your decision to show up messy show up with pure conviction. And when this happens, of course the confidence comes and of course, the legacy also begins to take place. There's a beautiful quote that I saw a few days ago and it made me realize that it's so true from Zig Zagler you don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. And giving yourself that permission to show up and just be yourself, your authentically self, will make you feel awesome because you did something hard, you did something out of your comfort zone, you did something that you said you were going to do, and all of this will, of course, give you that conviction and that confidence that your soul really, really, really needed to hear. So you're naming the fear, you are giving yourself that permission to move forward and going from beginner to an expert to a thought leadership in your authority, in your industry. It will make you feel more alive because you're doing what you said you were going to do.

Jamie Bareno:

Now, if we go back, as with everything, we have to see what is the root of the fear, right, and this can show up in different yeah. So, going back, we have to see where the root of the fear comes from, and this is from the fear of being seen. The fear of visibility often comes from childhood wounds. You experienced bullying as a child, or maybe your parents told you that you are not present to talk, or all of this really, really plays a role in how you show up. All of this also shapes you, right. So when you begin to identify what is the root cause of my fear, you begin to see. All right, this is where my fear comes from, from a past experience that you now have to decondition. And also, your nervous system says being seen may feel unsafe. Says being seen may feel unsafe. And this is when the deconditioning begins to happen, that you're giving yourself the permission to be seen and be safe. Because if you're telling your mind, your subconscious mind, I am safe, I am safe, I got this, I am okay, I am safe to be seen, I feel good, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. You are rewiring your subconscious brain and this will help you move forward on identifying where does this fear come from?

Jamie Bareno:

Now, I have a lot of experiences when it comes to this and I'm going to share a personal story. When I launched my first business and this was a few years back, when I began doing yoga, meditation and sound bowl healing I felt terrified, but I was very convicted in what I came here to do. But when it came to talk and show my face on the internet, I'm like this is not something that I want to do. Instagram was easier at that time. You can just post a picture and it's okay. Fast, move forward 2025.

Jamie Bareno:

All of this is not what the algorithm is looking for. You need to post reels, you need to post carousels, you need to do lives, and all of this was like oh my God. I felt at that time that that was a lot of work. Now, looking back, I'm like, oh my God, this is triple what I was expecting, and that really made me think that I need to accept the things that I cannot control, accept that this is what needs to happen in order for me to be the coach that I want to be to show up and take this not as a failure for anything that happened in the past, but make my body feel safe for showing up, for doing the things that I procrastinated for so long.

Jamie Bareno:

Year ago, it was for me so difficult to show up not only because I was heavily medicated for anxiety and depression, which it will be another topic for another day. I highly, highly, highly recommend talking with your therapist or your doctor on what are the ways that can help you move forward in your healing journey, and for me, I took all of the paths and the ways that can help you move forward in your healing journey, and for me, I took all of the paths, and the one that really helped me at the end was taking medication in combination with therapy and doing, of course, alternative medicine. That also helped me. But going back, it was just a lot of work I mean the editing and all of this and then when I came back to see, okay, let's jumpstart back this podcast. One year later, things have become easier and it is finally sustainable in order to create podcasts.

Jamie Bareno:

So all of this was rooted in the fear the fear of not only show up but also, you know, going through the process and coming up messy and not really being or feeling like I got everything under control. That's when I really realized this is not what I signed up for, in the sense of how can I show up and not get stressed? Think about it. It's sometimes difficult, but I also think that planning is what really, really helped me. Scripting, showing up for myself, organizing and all of this will help you reduce any fear, any procrastination, because you have a plan. I was thinking okay, when you not proceed with what you said you were going to do, you begin to suffocate because you know that that was not the plan. So you're not protecting yourself. You are literally suffocating and it will show up. It will show up in your body.

Jamie Bareno:

Therefore, when things don't go as you wanted it to go, because your fear of showing up online or doing something that does not feel 100%, ask yourself why is this happening? Why do I feel this? What is the root cause of my fear? Going back, does this experience was from something when you were a child or at work, and that will help you move the needle, because you identified the root cause. Now, sometimes what happens is that you don't identify it directly. It will come with time, and when you go deep into your deep, inner healing work, that's when you begin to identify those patterns. Therefore, just take it gentle, but have it in the back of your mind.

Jamie Bareno:

There's another quote that I really, really loved while I was doing research for this topic, and it says the master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried. Imagine the master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried. So give yourself the opportunity. Give yourself opportunity to fail, and to fail fast, in the beginning of your journey as an entrepreneur, because that's when you begin to see all right, I failed. This is how I am moving forward, this is how I am learning and taking the nuggets that I needed to take the lessons in order for me to not fail again. Right, take the lessons in order for me to not fail again. Right, and that will help you a lot by just being what you said you were going to do, being the person, the human that you want to be right, and there's some benefits from just starting to show up in order for you to embrace that conviction, that confidence and work on your legacy.

Jamie Bareno:

The moment you give yourself that permission, of course, the confidence begins to grow right, because you're moving the needle, you're taking action and you're not only in the planning phase. It's not pure theory. When you start mastery, you build resilience and you build trust in yourself. And when you feel convicted, that's when everything begins to fall into place, because you feel awesome, you feel great that you said something and you actually did it. You did not procrastinate, you showed up and it's okay. You looked messy, it's all good. Because with time and experience, you become more of an expert in what you are actually doing, which is either posting or recording a podcast or showing your beautiful face.

Jamie Bareno:

And the second one is visibility brings clarity. You don't know what your audience responds to until you show up. So maybe you're talking about topic A and you get so much feedback, but as soon as you drop on topic B, oh my universe, everybody's crazy about that. So, for example, when I talk about taboo topics, that's when I make the most amount of money, because finally, somebody said something right, and I strongly believe that. I strongly believe that when you talk about topics that the world does not talk about, that's when, like, an aha moment takes place, like, oh, I didn't see it from that perspective. Or let's do some research on what she said right, because that is what brings clarity and visibility to your personal brand. You are showing up and being you by talking about topics that people don't talk about. And, of course, the third benefit is that momentum builds wealth. Action literally compounds. The earlier you start, the faster your results will grow, because you gain experience, you're into the momentum. You're posting, you're creating content. You are a content creator and not a consumer. Remember that you are a content creator, not a consumer.

Jamie Bareno:

My loves, and the most magical one that I truly, truly feel, is that, of course, your aura will do all the work. People feel your authenticity when you stop performing, when you stop showing up like other coaches. You're showing up just as you, as raw, as authentic and as unapologetically you. People feel the aura, the energy. Energy doesn't lie, we all know that and it starts from within. You don't learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by doing a lot of it and falling over. This is another quote from Richard Branson, and it's so motivating to know that it's true. You don't learn to walk by following the rules.

Jamie Bareno:

I always say when everybody goes left, it goes right, and that makes you feel good, that makes you feel that you are where you want to be. For example, today is Ganesh Day in India. Yeah, even in this side of the world there's not a lot of Hinduism, but I strongly feel connected to that culture and when I talk about Ganesh and I talk about Shiva and I talk about Lakshmi, it's just, it goes so naturally to me that my aura will just shine and people will feel this energy and they're like I don't know what you're talking, but I want to learn more. And that's when you know that you're doing what your soul came here to do. That's when you know that you're doing what your soul came here to do. It's literally starting, starting and making a plan, but trying to execute and not stay in what we call busy work. Literally, make your plan, but also place those execution dates, because if you don't have execution dates, it's never gonna happen. You will stay in the planning phase and then you will stay in the editing phase and at the end, nothing happens because you're so paralyzed in that planning phase.

Jamie Bareno:

All right, so a small recap everyone started as a beginner. We all started as a beginner. That's the reality check that we are actually in. And take a look at Beyonce, look at Rihanna. All of them became a diva because they started right. They didn't start just one day and then become a diva the next day. No, they built through it. They built through resilience. They did so much work.

Jamie Bareno:

I remember when I was a teenager, beyonce was with destiny's child and I was in holland on vacation. Let me see, I think I was around 16 ish and then I remember Destiny's Child doing a performance and I'm like, oh my God, they're so cool and I still find them so cool. Beyonce, they rehearsed endlessly in garages before they became famous. Endlessly in garages before they became famous. So give yourself that permission to show up messy and everything will turn out perfectly fine. Every icon started awkward, unsure, unseen, but they started, and this applies to myself as well. I procrastinated so much to show up and until one day I was like no, I am going to show up and show up messy and show up the way I am, and people will adapt. Believe me, people will adapt.

Jamie Bareno:

Therefore, the difference is that when you decide to show up, that's when your main character energy begins to show. They didn't hide, they showed up right. Rihanna, beyonce, oprah all of these powerful women showed up. Oprah was fired from her first job because she was unfit for tv, according to the company she worked for. But she said I'm not going to give up on my dream because a company told me I am unfit for TV. No, she went and she became one of the most powerful women ever existing on planet Earth. So go and do magic, my love. Go and start what you said you were going to do Enter your diva era.

Jamie Bareno:

You don't become a leader by waiting. You become a leader by deciding, and that's how you embody your diva era. Your magical self, your main character and wealth isn't waiting to be perfect. No, I'm here to be messy, right, I'm here to be magnetic. That's when you begin to activate those wealth portals, those amazing services that you said you're going to do. Your signature, your intellectual property, all of this begins to tie into your diva era.

Jamie Bareno:

But that's when you decide okay, I'm going to show up messy, I'm going to show up the way I am. And that's how you decide okay, I'm going to show up messy, I'm going to show up the way I am. And that's how you build resilience, that's how you build your conviction, that's how you build your confidence by doing the uncomfortable. So have some courage. Put your big girl panties on and say, okay, I am entering my main character, energy, and this is who I am, and people will adapt.

Jamie Bareno:

Your legacy cannot be built in the shadows, my love. You weren't born to blend in. You were born to disrupt and be your authentic self. All of this is when you decide. You made a decision. Remember when you decide I am done playing small. That's when the universe will show you. Yes, my love, you are meant to do big things. You're meant to be magic and create everything your heart desires and what your soul contract came here to do. So let's move forward. Done is better than perfect. That's just something that you need to decide. I am done playing small. So I reel Launch whatever you said you're going to do. Don't wait another day, another week, another time. The algorithm Summer nobody buys in summer.

Jamie Bareno:

No, go ahead, post whatever you will. Love the world to see and begin showing up. Love the world to see and begin showing up. This is how you build trust like and trust like and confidence. No conviction in what you came here to do.

Jamie Bareno:

So I have three journal props for you that I would like for you to write it will be in the show notes as well and journal through them. This is what this is what's going to help you move the needle and reflect a little bit and going a little bit inwards. One of the journal prompts is where am I hiding? Because I'm afraid to look like a beginner. Take this block 20 to 25 minutes in your calendar and work through this extensively in order for you to identify in which areas you are being afraid to be seen. The second one is what story am I telling myself about imperfection? The third what bold action can I take this week to show up exactly as I am? Take this as a moment for you to reflect and remember. Perfection doesn't create impact. My loves no, no, no, no, no your presence does. That's what's going to create the impact that your heart and your soul truly desires.

Jamie Bareno:

Being ready is a decision. We spoke about this. It's not a feeling. It's something that you say I'm going to do and I'm going to make it happen. Therefore, your soft life era is around the corner, because you are planning the life that you really want to lead and you are creating magic. You're posting your content, you're doing everything that you said you're going to do confidently. You're building your conviction, you're building your resilience. All of this will help you move the needle and get the fear out of the way of looking like a beginner, because from a beginner you become an expert. You become what your clients will like you to see like. Hey, I want to be like her. I want to show up being so confident that I want to learn. How is she so confident, right? So, if all of this really, really resonates with you, take this moment to reflect and decide how are you going to show up and not let fear take over.

Jamie Bareno:

Divas. Thank you for tuning in to Fiercely you podcast. If today's episode lit a fire in you, share it with the women who need this message and leave a review so more fierce leaders can find this space. Want to go deeper? Join my free telegram community Temple of the Diva. Grab your exclusive lead magnet to start your inner work journey and explore how we can work together through the Diva Method and Luxada High End Mentorship. You'll find every link waiting for you in the show notes. And remember this you are the main character. Your wealthy area is here. Your signature work is unmatched. Until next time, stay bold, stay magnetic and always be fiercely you.

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